The United States of Lan Crumpen is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, keen interest in outer space, and absence of drug laws. The quiet, industrious population of 683 million Lan Crumpenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 30.3%.

The sizeable but inefficient Lan Crumpenian economy, worth 31.7 trillion francs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 46,454 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Leader has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits, everybody's got wood thanks to Leader, new treatments are rejected if they cannot be explained using only one-syllable words, and foreign governments are looking into weaponizing the infamous Lan Crumpenian bee. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Lan Crumpen's national animal is the giraffe.

Lan Crumpen is ranked 219,879^th in the world and 5^th in SCCTCRichard for Largest Populations, with 683 million capita.